I washed and put away an enormous amount of laundry today. And I got my daughter to preschool. I held my son, Canon, when he was sad. That's about it.
Nothing else was good or worth mentioning. Are those things enough? Am I doing enough? Because mostly I think about the times when I was sick and didn't want anyone to touch me, or the fact that I didn't make one meal for my children today--and the word failure bounces around inside my head.
Last night I cleaned up the kids bedroom, which was a disaster of sorts. It looks great, even vaccuumed. So if I look at that room, I can feel successful; I can see all the clothing in the drawers, too, and know that I took care of my children in that way. But if I look anywhere else.... Agh.
Why can't I feel good about what I did? Why do I feel like I'm missing something?
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
Random bits of crazy Peck life
Thanks for Visiting
I am a mom of three young kiddos, and basically I'm just figuring things out as I go. This blog is a peck/peek into our messy little world. Tomorrow is another day.
See Also:
Jovie
Lyrics that I love
"Everything around her is a silver pool of light"
"We were free like water flowing down under the warmth of the sun"
"Cooler than the flip-side of my pillow, that's right."
Copyright 2009 - Peck of Pickled Peppers All Rights Reserved. Powered by Blogger
Blogger Templates created by Deluxe Templates | WordPress theme by9th sphere
5 Comments:
Focus on the good things and the bad won't seem so bad.
Maybe because motherhood is largely a thankless job and we have to find joy within ourselves for our accomplishments and pat ourselves on the back.
Sometimes I tell my kids and husband how amazing I am and then they give me pats on the back or more. :)
Amber, I'm sorry you are struggling so! I promise it looks better from the outside. (in so many ways!) Go for a walk, make chalk murals with the kids outside, eat lunch on the lawn, and most of all, find someone who is struggling and find a way to help, even if it is just a positive note saying that you are thinking of them. It is the only way I get through life. I realize I have more on my plate than is "normal" and it's "my own fault", but it is still very hard and lonely. I know how you feel. it is the same empty lonliness. You are a talented and intelligent woman, you are a loving and caring Mom, you are a sweet and tender wife, you are a fun and teachable daughter and you are a caring and connected sister. (and a cute neice!) I love you as so many others do. Don't question your worth, instead ask each day what little thing you can do to lift someone else each day.
I think everyone is bombarded with these type of days. Life is hard. No question about it. We have to do the same things over and over again. And then when we think it is over we have to do it again. When I feel bad, I look up at the mountains and the sky or listen to some music I like. It helps me. Things could always be worse. Not much thanks or recognition for being a dad, husband, or a boss either. Most of the time you just do what you do and no one notices or mentions anything unless you screw up or do something wrong. Luckily, I know that I am a son of my Heavenly Father and He loves and will give me what I need if I ask Him. He does this everytime I go to Him and ask for comfort. I love you Amber.
Motherhood is just like that some days. Our children (and often our husbands) are not aware enough to notice the little big things we do everyday and say thank you. I think we all need a better moms-network to give each other praise and appreciation. So Amber - "Good Job! Congratulations on holding your son when he needed you! Way to go cleaning a whole room! Wow! You are awesome! Keep on keepin' on!"
Post a Comment
A Penny for your Thoughts?