Mankind

My older brother, David, came to visit me the other night. We talked about all kinds of things, meaningful and not. Theater, the church, community, kids, life, money - it was wonderful. For some ridiculous logic that even I don't understand, I tend to shut people out. Almost all people. David stopped by and made me talk to a person, a person I really like, and I am super glad.

I just finished a remarkable book called Tuesdays with Morrie. It is a true story. A story that pierced one of my numerous walls. Here is one of many great quotes in the book: "So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning."

We were put on this earth to be together, not alone. The insights I received by hanging out with David, the way I felt when I read the words of Morrie Schwatz- these aren't things I could have experienced as a solitary being on Earth. We are all here together, mankind, for a reason.

Trying not to Whine

It's been a long weekend and I've had time to notice that my children whine a lot. It was really beginning to bother me until I realized that children learn from their parents... looking inward, I realized that I am a bit of a whiner as well.

Pregnancy is sort of a rough time of life. Summer is a bit hard when your swamp cooler only helps to get things down to 81 degrees. Money in general is super crummy, always. And then the usual bugs, chores, poopy diapers, yadda yadda. I have been whining probably non stop to Ben. So the kids naturally follow in Mommy's footsteps.

So I am turning over a new leaf. If I envision and create an environment conducive to happiness, I believe happiness will flow into my life. I am going to write down in my journal EVERY DAY something that I am grateful for. Something joyful and good in my life. Here is my list for today:

1. I am grateful to be pregnant. There is a baby coming, and regardless of how long this lasts, I am grateful that Heavenly Father has entrusted this spirit with me even this long. It is a gift and a blessing to me.
2. I am grateful for popsicles, ice cube trays, and running water. Also for all of my large appliances that work wonderfully well.
3. I am so so glad that Ben has a job. The few times in our marriage when we have not had a job are times I would never choose to re-live. Employment is sweet and comfortable and I am so grateful.
4. Bugs in our house are never bigger than I can squoosh. I've heard in some countries this is not the case.
5. Last for today, I am so so grateful for family and friends. Anyone who has ever shown me love or kindness EVER. I cannot live a solitary existence as much as I think I can. I need people. I really do.

Day one of inviting happiness into my heart. Taking a lesson from Laman and Lemuel: Murmuring never was happiness.