2 Timothy 1:7

"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

My husband, Ben, has been doing freelance graphic design work for a while now.  Mostly just at night and when he can squeeze it in.  About a month ago, though, his side-job became his full-time job.  We are officially self-employed.

He works from home in our "office" without a door.  It's been tough at times to get used to.  But since Monday I've been seeing a glimmer of hope.  Financially we so do not have things figured out; Logistically, though, and emotionally, I think we're going to be ok.  I think this phase of life will be good for us and that we can grow closer as we spend this time together.  Ben's already really grateful that he gets to see Keller learning to walk, rather than just hearing about it from me.

I'm so proud of Ben for his talent and his work ethic.  When we got engaged, the idea of going into graphic design was pretty undefined and fuzzy to both of us.  Design has become his passion now, and thanks to his his education and various job experiences, he's at a point where he can feel confident (well, fairly confident) as an independent graphic designer.

I love Ben.  And it feels so good to transition a little bit from fear to faith.  We're going to be ok.

Templated trouble

Hmm... how do I use that "About" tab up there?  Is it just for decoration?  Help, someone who knows CSS!  Oh wait, Ben knows code.  Maybe tonight he can help....

And six years later...

Six years ago a freezing cold bride promised a red-haired college kid that she would love him forever.  If they were being honest, they would admit that really they didn't know each other very well.  And they were taking a giant leap of faith to connect their lives like that. The faith wasn't blind, though, because the bride and the college kid knew their Heavenly Father would be there, too.  This marriage would be a team effort and it felt right.

Years passed.
Jobs changed.
They moved.  A lot.
3 babies came.
One baby didn't come.
Money ran out over and over again.
Cars were sold.
Diapers were dirtied.

And the couple survived it all.  They held on to each other and prayed and cried; they became stronger as the years went by.  They laughed at silly things, danced in small apartments, and took a lot of risks - always together.

Today it is our 6 year Anniversary and I love that red-haired guy so much more than I could have imagined.  I fell in love with that light that he possesses; I saw that genuine kindness he shows everyone he meets.  He is a good good man who would do anything for our family. And I'm going to hug him and kiss him and follow him through eternity.  I love you so so much, Benjamin.  Happy Anniversary.

Happy Family

Canon has just started drawing faces!  He's 3 years old and has never shown any interest in even drawing a circle or a straight line - now this.  I'm super excited.  We color, draw, paint, and create a lot in our home; art is one of the things I really enjoy about being a stay-at-home mommy.  So when Canon draws something that I can recognize, I am overjoyed.  So here are the pictures of our family that he drew today.  My little budding artist son.  :)

Ha

Keller is trying to lick the numbers on our VCR but he keeps bumping his chubby face on the edge of the shelf.  It's hilarious.  But he's determined.

Almond Joy Mix

If you plan to go on a hike, you should be prepared.  Bring an extra layer in case of cold, more water than you think you'll need, matches, extra socks, a map or compass, and definitely bring GORP.  (I learned this in my 1 credit class that I took.)  GORP stands for good old raisins and peanuts; so basically it's a mix of whatever snacky thing you can pack in a ziploc bag. I'm an old fashioned trail mix lover, myself.

My hiking class has inspired me to snack on all kinds of mixed up things and my favorite is the almond joy mix that I've concocted.  Pretty easy combination: sweetened and flaked coconut + slivered almonds + semi-sweet chocolate chips.  It's more of a treat type snack, and I can't tell ya how many points it's worth or anything, but mmm-mm, it's good stuff.  Sometimes you just feel like a nut.

Proud

On Friday, I graduated with my AA from Weber State University.  And it was a really wonderful day.  I felt proud of the work that I had put in to achieve that goal.  Seeing my kids, husband, and parents waving and smiling at me felt good, too.  The ceremony had some really good speakers that encouraged each graduate to make a difference in the world.  I felt inspired and I hope to hang on to that feeling.  I do have the power to make the world a better place, even if my influence is small.  I am capable of so much with my Heavenly Father's help.  It was a wonderful day, like I said, and I really hope this accomplishment and the way I felt that day can stay with me for a long time.

P.S.  That picture is so true to life.  Look at Canon's sneaky little face - ha!

Kindred Spirits

There are some people who I've bumped into in life who just click with the way I think. Do you have people like that? I've had one or two in each place that I've lived. Age, life circumstance, and even language make no difference. Their spirit is a good fit for yours. They are rare and special, they can say more eloquently what you are already feeling. My mom recommended this blog to me to read; I sort of glanced at it and brushed it off as not my type. I don't home school my children or read conference talks too often... but I saved the address and checked it out again. And - - - she's great, the end. Check it out. Diapers and Divinity gives me that feeling that I'm in a special club of mothers. Even if we don't actually talk to each other, we all understand what it's like. How can I read someone else's words and feel so validated, appreciated, known? Kindred spirits, I tell ya.

A light dusting of snow on the walks

The kids are asleep and I'm trying to "tidy up" the family room. Sounds like an old fashioned term but it's the one we use around here. We've established, in our family, that putting away toys isn't actually cleaning anything; truly, it's rare that we ever get past the tidying phase into the cleaning one. Mainly we pick up the same toys over and over and over, every day of our lives.

I've gotten most of the junk off the floor and I'm now on to vacuuming. Yes, I am afraid of waking up the baby, but if you could see my carpet now, you would understand that it poses more of a health risk to Keller than an incomplete night of sleep. I run my hand along the carpet under the couch and find so much garbage, paper, cereal. My children are like little confetti machines, covering every inch of the house. It took me several rounds of tidying then sighing before I could get out the vacuum.

Boy, I'm sure this is exciting to read.

At the end of this day, my thoughts are: I can either feel crappy about the messy family room, or I can try to make it better. I can either curse the snow as I head out to pick up my preschooler, or put on my snow boots. I can wait until I have time to buy construction paper for the Christmas Count-down chain, or I can join my kids in coloring white paper with crayons. Life's full of bummers and redundancies, but I have choices. That's awesome.