English 2010

I am a nerd. This morning I sat through a one-hour lecture on punctuation and I LOVED it. It's helps that my teacher is hilarious and knows lots of random history about english sayings. (graveyard shift, raining cats and dogs, holding a wake - anyone?) I think there is a difference between learning material to pass a test, and learning material to gain knowledge. I have an invested interest in grammer and punctuation because I truly enjoy writing and hope to someday be considered a "good writer." I learned a lot about commas, semicolons, dashes, and-- dun, dun, dun-- colons. Oh how I have overlooked the colon. (That probably sounds really weird.) This overwhelming desire to edit has hit me today, and I plan to attack my previous blog entries one at a time. There are so many rules I never knew, and am embarrassed to have violated. But one aspect of punctuation I can be confident about: creating emphasis. I love using commas and dashes (etc.) to pace my writing the way I like, and the way I want things to be read. Did you know punctuation originated in Shakepeare's day as a way to help actors better understand their scripts? Isn't learning sweet. I'm so excited to do better and learn more in this class!

Saw this billboard on I-80

Learning

Change - boy there is a lot I could say about this - Let's start with:

People can change. I can. I used to think I was stuck as I am, but I'm not.

Change is slow. Slower than I'd like it, for sure. But when you think back to six months ago, or read your journal from a year ago - you'll see that you've grown, or declined, even if only a little - you never stay the same.

Change is clumsy. On the path to change, we fall, we trip, we even go backwards sometimes. That's ok.

Change is scary. Most of us have a tendancy to resist change, which is cool and totally natural. But when I pay attention to the way I resist, I can ease myself into new things, new behaviors.

There is nothing so constant as change. (Especially with kids, I should add.)

*PS* Shout out to Missus O and her Dr. I just figured out who the heck you were! Thanks for following my blogged-ness.

Vacation Time

We're going camping tonight and I am way excited. Yes, I know that it will be hard, and I know my baby probably won't sleep well, and the last time Canon went camping he threw up all over the tent... but I think it will be ok. The kids love dirt and rocks and trying new things. I love spending time with Ben, and we haven't been doing a lot of that lately. So our family will sleep in a tent, sing camp songs, and have a good ole time! We never go on "vacations" so this is going to be a nice change for us. Yay!

Updates:

Canon says, "I really like throwing rocks in the water. I like sleeping in the tent. I like eating food at the camping. I ate cereal with no milk." (He spilled his milk onto my sleeping bag.)

Tae says, "I liked playing with the sticks in the sand. I liked eating, too, also those marshmallows and that cereal. And also I like throwing rocks in the pool of water. It was so nice for mom and dad to let me roast marshmallows. And I also liked getting my feet washed from Mom. I liked playing right in the water and getting that drink and putting my big stick in the water. I liked it."

Ben, "Camping was awesome. There was a very cool small river next to us. We saw a very cool awesome camper charred by fire on the side of the highway. The kids played in the water and had a fun time. Keller got handfuls of sand to smoosh together. Nice campfire where the kids roasted marshmallows by themselves, and had lots of fun."

And I would like to add that we really liked camping at Jordenelle State Park. They had bathrooms, a playground, water spigots, showers - pretty nice place and cheap. The resevoir was beautiful and I enjoyed listening to the waves, as the kids played with rocks. We're planning to go back in a month or so. It took for-e-ver to get up there because of an accidents that held up traffic in a big way. Once we were there it was nice, and I felt a lot of love for my kiddos. It was super cold at night, and Canon did give us another throw-up scare (no actual yuck involved.) But overall I am glad we went. I like camping with my family.

Like beating my head against a wall

I just wanted to go on a little walk around the block with my kids. We have to survive until Ben gets home at 6:30, so I'm trying anything that will take up some time. Taesya wanted to ride the tiny bicycle we have and the boys were in our wagon. We passed exactly one house before Taesya's "leading" turned to a stop. There are two large dogs that live at the corner house and Tae didn't dare pass them.

"Taesya, the dogs are behind a fence. They can't get you, right?"

"Right, Mom," she says as she moves her bike onto the grass to get as far away from the fence as possible.

I explained, I persuaded, and then I gave up and passed her. So I'm pulling the boys, the dogs are playfully barking and jumping behind their fence, and Taesya is screaming behind me. Her bike (obviously) won't ride very fast on the grass parking strip, and the sidewalk is out of the question... Oh my, I had had it!

Somehow we got passed that corner house, with Keller and Taesya in tears, and me left wondering at the minds of children. Is it possible to teach children that dogs cannot run through fences? Canon seemed just fine; maybe he can have a talk with his brother and sister. (Sigh) and now my head really hurts.

:)

Come back to me

My little sister, Ashley, moved away yesterday. She and her husband are going to live in New York while he attends medical school. It's a new experience for me to have someone so close to me move so far away. The kids and I were going to stop by to see her before they headed out, but we were too late. And then it hit me, really hard, that I'm going to miss Ashley.

I made myself run an errand and then I sort of drove aimlessly around Salt Lake. I felt empty-ish and sad. The kids were very good, letting me drive off some steam. It wasn't until a David Cook song came onto the radio that I began to cry. All this time, knowing about the move, I've thought of Ashley's perspective and how I think it will all be ok. Yesterday I started to think, "Will I be ok?"

I hope Ashley knows how much we all love her. And how lots of people were thinking of her all day yesterday. Can't wait to see you again, Ash. Love you lots.

Comments

Thanks so much to everyone who comments on my blog (and to any of you who don't, feel free to begin.) The problem with my new blog template is that the comments button for each entry is located above the blog post. I know it's crazy, but that's the way it's built. So if you comment in the future, try to remember to click above, k? Either way, I love to hear what y'all have to say. Love!

Picky

After I publish a blog post, I usually go in and edit it 4 or 5 times as quickly as I can, before anyone else reads my typos. And when I can't word a story just right, to create the effect that I want, it bugs me for a long time. Need to chill a bit.

Good mornin', good mornin'

I remember waking up to Kalie's beautiful voice singing that song at Girl's Camp in the Uintah Mountains. She is an unbelievably perky person in the morning and she was kind enough to share her cheer with us bums. (Not until later did I learn where the song came from, a fantastic musical called "Singin' In the Rain.") My little sister is at that same girl's camp today. we call it Piuta, and I hope she's having a good morning. And that she has great friends there, like Kalie Casselman and Savannah Spackman were to me. Girl's Camp is awesome and I know Court will love it this year. Good times.

I had a wonderful morning today! The kids and I went to Murray Park and went on an invigorating walk around the VitaCourse trail. The kids had so much fun that they volunteered for another loop. We took a small break in the middle and the kids played in some sand, drawing pictures with sticks. I sat on a rock and Keller slept in the stroller. It was nice to watch the trees moving, and breathe in the cool shady air. I felt grateful. For my day, for my kids, for legs than can walk, for my life.

Taesya and Canon played at the park after that. And then I took them to get some lunch. We were going to pick up some Rumbi Island Grill to bring home, but Canon really wanted to eat in the "restront." I don't go out to eat with the kids unless Ben is there, generally, but I gave it a shot today. We all split a yummy pork rice bowl with Teriyaki sauce and veggies. Keller even ate some of the rice. There was a cool moment at Rumbi when we were all happily eating together. The kids started dancing in their seats to the background music, shaking their bums and smiling at stranger; Keller started to bounce up and down, too, as he watched his siblings. I looked at them all and felt really happy. How could anyone not feel joy watch three tiny children doing the lunchtime dance? My kids are fun and I love them a ton.

Driving home, I realized that things are getting happier in my life. We are operating two or three notches higher than we were 6 months ago. And overall, I'm feeling better. Even optimistic, ambitious. It might sound like no big deal, but people, this is HUGE.

I had a great morning. I hope yours was equally as pleasant. "Good mornin', good mornin' to you!"

My view

Do not rent the movie "Knowing." Seriously. It was a lot scarier than we thought it would be and then the whole thing turns "spiritual," I guess. I wish I hadn't wasted those two hours.

"Time for school, time for school!"

Fall is coming again and I am heading back to school. This will be the third semester I've taken from WSU and after December, I will be the proud owner of an Associates Degree. I'm excited about it, and glad to go back. But at the same time ---

I am full of butterflies as I look at scheduling, and all the driving, and wondering when I'll fit in the homework, and I haven't really taken three classes together since Taesya was a baby... Anxiety and I are pretty well acquainted lately and he's just having a hay day with this one. So I turned off the computer monitor and Ben talked me off my ledge of stress. My heart was kind of racing and my brain felt like it was filled with rocks. I'm the one in our relationship who thinks of all that could possibly go wrong, while Ben is the one who thinks things will work out just fine. He's such an optimistic, calm person. He brings balance to my brains.

School's good, right? And I'm glad to go back. I do love the feeling of those A's, after I've worked really hard. A = Accomplishment! So take a few deep breaths and listen very hard to Ben, "Everything's going to be ok."