Passing through Sorrow

At the end of day, I'm feeling hopeful. This is a big change for me. I don't want to make a big deal out of posting this; but I think that not saying anything only adds to the many misconceptions that exist. People don't talk about depression, it's like some big secret.  And that's silly.  Since Keller was born, I've been struggling with postpartum depression and anxiety. It's a really crummy thing to go through, but I'm doing my darndest to make things better again.

I'm asking for the help I need.  Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of strength. It's sometimes hard to accept help, so it's important to remember that there is a time and a season for all things; there will be times when you can help and other times that you need the helping. I am so glad for all the help I receive every day.  

I'm learning that change takes time. Depression is not something I want to struggle with, and if it was up to me, I'd be "normal" again by now. But I've made tons of progress and I can see how far I've come.

On that note, it's important to give yourself credit for the good things you do. It's really impossible to be happy when your head is full of negative thoughts.  I've been learning that I am a good mother and a great individual; I accomplish a lot, and I should be proud of myself.

There's more to say, but I don't want to make this a soap box. This is just something I'm going through and to post every day without mentioning it seems like a lie.  Depression is tough, and I don't think that anyone would ever choose to suffer this way. Everybody gets a different set of tests and trials in this life; this is one of mine.  Ben and the kids are the reason I'm working so hard to get better. I love them more than anything.  

I truly believe that I will be a stronger person at the end of this. Slowly but surely.  Like I said, I'm feeling hopeful. And that's a pretty sweet way to feel.