I spend the majority of my day with my two little boys and they seem to be constantly unhappy with the job I am doing as a mother. Canon, thankfully, has only one real source of complaint: he is always hungry. So our relationship consists of, "Mom, can I have something?" and "No, Canon, you just had breakfast." Then the "crying" ensues. It's phony, whiney crying. I don't like it.
I can't really put my finger on Keller's reasons for grief; there are so many. It's a tough phase of life, I've been told, because he's learning to communicate and is struggling when he can't find the words he needs. Most things are out of his control and that makes him upset. But truly, Keller cries 70% of each day. He cries because he's constantly bumping into things as he runs to and fro; he cries because his older siblings exclude and pick on him; and he cries because Mom just doesn't understand what he needs right when he needs it.
It's difficult to feel successful and happy right now. Because every time I turn around, someone is giving me a bad review. I wish I didn't care so much, was impervious to their critiques -- my skin is not thick enough for this job some days.
Weeks like these make me really grateful for my dog. It's nice that if she's fed and has had a walk, she is quiet and content with life. Good girl, Lace.
4 Comments:
Since we have entered into the dog owner's world, I have to agree with you. Our dog jumps for joy when we walk in the door, follows us around like a shadow and loves us all the time. Children, on the other hand, have their little independent minds and frustrations.
I often wish I had taught Court sign language because he had such a difficult time communicating as a toddler. Maybe he would have been happier.
Amber, Amber, Amber. I'm so sorry I didn't get a chance to stop by before I left. I've been meaning to write you for awhile now to apologize, but my internet access has been very limited. How are things going? Fill me in on EVERYTHING. Loves, Nicki
Wow, Amber, I've been feeling like you... I don't feel successful being a Mother at all. My son, Beck, will be 3 in February and he is really hard. Very sweet sometimes, but very very exhausting. He is also very whiny and cries a lot because of the same things you mentioned. It's rough. Some days I would seriously like to hide in my room all day and read a book.
I was reading a magazine in a Dr. office today and the article was about finding joy in your career... I thought well, being a SAHM right now IS my "career", so I read it. It said if we have a job we don't like, we basically need to change our attitude. I thought, "yeah, right!" I'd like to see someone be able to enjoy one minute of the days I've endured lately. But then, it said to help change our attitudes, we need to find small moments that we can look forward to in order to help us get through the day and tasks where we can use our creativity. Anyway, I thought it sounded good, so I'm gonna try it. :) we'll see. Good luck with your sweet boys... being a mother is the hardest thing I have ever done. But I love my kids and I know you love yours... we'll make it. From one tired Mommy to the other ((HUGS))
PS I'm happy to hear your dog, Laci, is good for you :)
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