The Wisdom of the Chinese

It was pay day yesterday, so we splurged and ate dinner at Pei Wei, which we love.  Ben and I always share the Honey-seared Chicken and the Lettuce Wraps.  We order Chicken Lo Mein for the munchkins.  The kids each got a fortune cookie and Keller's made me laugh out loud.  

Tae:   Investigate new possibilities with friends.  Now is the time!

Canon:   That special someone loves to see the light in your eyes.

Kel:   You have a charming way with words and should write a book.  (I can't agree more.  With words of wisdom like "No want it!" and "Okidokee," his book would be a hit.)

Mine was great, as well:   You'll have more to give if you take some time for yourself.  Profound insight from a cookie; don't you think?

Tummy Time

I'm kind of embarrassed to post a picture of my pregnant self, but at the same time, I really want to acknowledge that I am accomplishing something in my life.  Making an entire person inside of you takes a lot of work, and I deserve to be proud of that.  So here I am at 27 1/2 weeks; so close to the third trimester. Little Jovie is a jumping bean, for sure, and I enjoy that she keeps me company.  I'd be a lot more comfortable if she was just a squooshy baby, but when I try to bend over, I can tell she is definitely built of bones.  Ouch.  Some mornings Taesya greets me with a, "Wow, Mom, your baby is sure getting bigger."  I'm feeling bigger.  But how many other achievements are this visible?  I'm growing a baby.  What a job.

Incubating

Hope you have a good day today.  Personally, my only goal is to remain conscious.  I am beat.  It seems like this baby inside of me might be going through a growth spurt.  It'd be nice to be a chicken and just sit on my egg all day; but who takes care of the other chicks while Mrs. Hen is chillin'?  At least it's Friday: countdown to tag-team parenting.

Stay awake and finish of the week on a happy note.  My best to you and yours.

Kindergarten

Tae's officially going to school all day.  Which means that my most helpful, independent child is gone... to be helpful and independent for someone else.  Bummer.  Canon had a pretty emotional day yesterday; having to make his own decisions was tough on him, as he is used to just doing whatever Taesya does.  But me and my little boys will adjust.  Keller will learn to copy Canon and I will teach them both to become helpful and independent in time.

She had a great first day.  She was most excited to tell me about quiet time when they all slept.  And they colored; she mentioned that as well.  Back to School Night was basically just a review of all the paperwork they'd already sent home to read, but it was nice to see her in her little Kindergarten environment.  Tae's the kind of kid that absolutely loves school; learning new things and having other kids to talk to--it's her perfect set up.

We have to get in the routine of drop-offs and pick-ups.  Then Canon will start preschool next week and add two more car trips.  I hope this just becomes natural after a while.  My big belly isn't really helping, though, with the ins and outs--it's tiring.

My oldest child is in Kindergarten; I am proud of the sweet little girl she has become.  I hope she brings joy to everyone around her, like she does to me.  I love you, Tae.

Feeling wimpy a bit

(Wish I looked this cute)

I'm five months pregnant and beginning to feel very out of shape.  Granted, I have been eating lots and lots of junk.  I crave sugar all of the time, and especially when things are tough at home, I eat way too much of a good thing.  So when I hopped onto the elliptical today, I was tired after about a minute.  I seriously considered sitting on a bench for the hour to at least get my money's worth out of the daycare.  But I plugged along.  It was so hard today.  

I did what I could do.  And I got a break from the house and the kids.  My brain was empty for a small chunk of time and that felt wonderful.  I hope this rough workout doesn't become a trend, because I still have a ways to go in this pregnancy.  As for today, though, I'm proud that I worked my heart and my muscles.  Go me.

Thinking pains

Someone told me today (ok, it was my therapist) that it doesn't matter what other people think.  If I enjoy photography and writing, if those things make me happy, then that's all that matters.

My brain totally rejects this idea.  I don't want to be one of those losers on American Idol who think they can sing, while all of America is laughing at them from their living rooms.  I don't want to be delusional like that.  If I suck, I'd rather know so I can give up and find something else.

Really?  No.  I love to write.  And I love to take pictures.  Does it matter where I land on the talent scale?  If I was the crappiest in the world, but it brought me joy and peace, shouldn't I still do it?  Apparently.

This hurts my head, majorly.

My backyard looks like a wet disaster

It's not even 9:00 yet and I am already shaking my fist at this day.  Not a good sign. So I have to reset my brain and begin again.

I started to re-read a parenting book last night; maybe this time it'll stick.  It's called Common Sense Parenting of Toddlers and Preschoolers.  I've never finished it, so I can't recommend it; but chapter one was super enlightening this time around.  It was all about expectations.  I took a minute to determine what I really expect from my children.

I expect Taesya to:
Dress herself and put her dirty clothes in the hamper
Brush her hair
Brush her teeth
Clear her dishes into the sink
Buckle her seatbelt
Pour a drink for herself
Use fork, spoon, napkin
Make her bed
Play independently sometimes
Speak kindly

I expect Canon to:
Dress himself and put his dirty clothes in the hamper
Brush his teeth with help
Make his bed with help
Clear his dishes
Play independently sometimes
Use fork, spoon, napkin
Get into his carseat and buckle the top buckle
Speak kindly

I expect Keller to:
Begin to keep his food on the table
Drink out of a cup
Stay out of the dog's food/water
Stay in one place for diaper and clothing changes

I'm supposed to make sure that I have communicated my expectations to my children.  They should understand them, be able to describe them to me in their own words.  And also I am supposed to lead by example.  If I'm not getting myself ready in the morning, why would the kids think they should?  Mom is showing them that we should get dressed and cleaned up at the last minute.  So I have to adjust my habits and they will notice.

This week, we are going to work on expectations.  What do I expect of my children and what do they expect of me.  I realize my children expect me to be a lot more prepared than I actually am.  And if I lived up to their expectations, I believe things would be smoother.

I have a friend coming over in twenty minutes, so I better get myself dressed.  I have reset my brain, for now at least.

P.S. Snow is Crummy

Things are a'changing around here.  The kids are growing up so much and I'm having to adjust my idea of daily life.  Figure out new ideas and new goals.  Ben and I are having talks about what we want out of life and where we want to be in 5 years.  Maybe it's the Spring Cleaning idea; we have this drive to begin anew, to jumpstart our old ways.  

We're going to improve our home one project/piece of furniture at a time.  Slowly turning it into a more pleasant place to live.  Ben's office is going to move into another room as soon as we figure out Wifi, and then he will have a door to close.  (He is quite excited about that idea.)

I am resolved to sit down and play with my children each day.  Yesterday I colored with Tae and Canon; we had a great time.  Taesya drew a snowman, Canon drew a "shooter" - Canon even wrote an S, two N's, and an O.  It felt nice to just play for once.  

It's good for Ben and I to re-establish the path that we want to be on.  Life gets going and we sort of end up wandering.  But now the team is recommitted, our uniforms are cleaned and pressed, we've planned the line-up, and it's going to be a great season.  Batter up!

Take the Time to Watch This

Creation

We did projects tonight as a family.  Meaning that we cut up magazines, glued things, put stickers on paper... it was fun!  I love creating art with my kids and I need to do it a lot more.  My favorite is when our house is covered top to bottom with projects we've completed together.  We tape them onto doors, mirrors, and once we even attached them to the ceiling.  Art is important to me; it makes me happy.

I'd love to post the outcome of our art time, but I have to wait until my little sister opens up her email tomorrow on her birthday!  Happy Birthday, Ashley; we love you so.

*Update: Here are Canon and Taesya's cards!

Like a Box of Chocolates

I'm 25 years old and I carry a lot of adult responsibility.  I have a mortgage, a self-employed husband, and three children under the age of 5.  Sometimes I envy those other 25 year olds that I graduated with; I imagine they all live glamorous, simple lives.  Lives of less responsibility.  Recently I have realized I am wrong.

One 25 year old has had to cope with years of infertility and is now working hard to be considered for adoption.
One 25 year old fell in love with a boy who was called off to war.  A whole year she waited to be with him again.
One 25 year old was diagnosed with ovarian cancer.  She's been through surgery and chemotherapy.

As I heard these stories, I was taken aback that someone could go through such difficulty at such a young age.  And I'm stunned at how different each of our lives can be.  In my ignorance, I saw only married-with-kids and single-and-interesting.  Like every other kid I knew just stayed a teenager or something.  Life is more complex than that.

This 25 year old woke up at 5 am with a sick son.  I couldn't fall back to sleep because I'm worrying about an audition that I have today, and my other sick child is sleeping in my bed.  There is food in my refrigerator, though; and after I eat breakfast, I will say good morning to my good husband.  He'll smile at me and we'll work together through the chaos of a morning in our home.  There is the burden of responsibility, that I feel on my shoulders everyday, but there is also a great deal of love.  And I am grateful for all the love in my life.

I'm grateful for my beautiful children.  I'm grateful for my health.  And I'm grateful that Heavenly Father sent me trials designed specifically for me; He knows me better than I know myself, for sure.

I want to express my admiration for those out there who are going through something hard.  You are strong and resilient; you will make it through this trial.  I look up to you.

Opposition in all Things

Spring has come and I am overjoyed!  The sunlight and the energy of Spring lifts me up.  I can send my kids into the backyard again; they can dig holes in the garden to their heart's content.  (As long as they wash up when they come inside.)  I'm really glad that Spring is here.

In Glendale, Spring means a few negative things, though.  It means that all the troublemakers have awoken from hibernation, and they leave their mark on the local stores, fences, and traffic signs.  Graffiti gets cleaned up fast around here, but I always get a sick feeling in my stomach when I see it.  It makes me sad that someone could have such disregard for those around them.  Spring and Summer makes these people restless, I guess.

Completely unrelated, yesterday I saw two separate people retrieving used cigarettes off of the sidewalk, and then pocketing them for later use.  It was odd because I'd never seen this before and now I saw it twice in one day.  Is it the economy?  Maybe they were trying to save a buck by recycling cigarettes from strangers?  I felt bad for them that they needed this drug so much.

Our front planters have sprouted daffodils, which I must say are a terribly happy flower.  That bright yellow just shouts glee.  Funny how the dandelions are the same color.  To children, dandelions are flowers and are as valuable as daffodils.  So according to Taesya's definition, we have 5 pretty yellow flowers in our planter.

I've had almost a week off of the play that I am in.  It's been nice to stay home and forget about scene changes, and makeup, and bobby pins.  The break did me good and now I am excited to go back.  Tomorrow night I will again be back at The Children's Theater downtown.  It is a gem of a theater and I love it there.

Have you ever thought how a drink of water wouldn't taste as great if you hadn't gotten thirsty first?  Or how your teeth wouldn't feel so great clean if they'd never gotten dirty?  Or how a warm blanket would mean so much less without the cold?  Keller is still working on getting a mouthful of teeth for himself, and he's having a tough time along the way.  Teeth come after the pain.  Opposition--man oh man.

The dandelions accompany the daffodils, and the graffiti multiplies with the sunshine.  I'm starting to get it.  I am grateful for the Spring.

Pretty

I think these charms are just beautiful.

Mrs. Crawford / Maid #1

All done up and ready to go -- please won't you come to see the show?

Ben is buying Chick-Filet right now and I am awaiting the van.  Late for practice, uh oh.  Tonight is our last night to rehearse!  Don't you love my little Victorian hair-do?

Current Events

Taesya is our beautiful daughter, who loves to help.  She wants to cook and take care of her brothers.  Today she was pouting because we didn't let her clean up Riley's poop.

Riley likes to follow us around, get petted, and lay in various locations.  Yesterday we gave him his second bath and it was much wetter than the first.  

Canon draws robots, almost exclusively.  It makes me glad that all of my children like to color; even Kel is starting to get the hang of it.  Art is good for the soul, I believe.

This is Keller reading King Lear.  Pretty good for a one year old.  He prefers my books to the kid's books.  And he will tell you (in his baby language) exactly what he is reading.  Today he was perusing Freddy and Fredericka, which is an interesting novel; you might consider giving it a try.  

I'm having a rocky day.  But I had a really good walk/run with Riley; and the sun is shining.  Ben and I are determined to go on a date this weekend, which I know will do us some good.  We really have to make a point to speak to one another when life gets busy, or else we just don't.  Crazy life.

Mean people

I had a super crummy night at play practice last week.  I was trying my best to stay positive, I really was, but when someone is being a jerk, it's tough.  Backstage at a play is hectic: moving set pieces on and off, running from one side of the stage to the other, getting ready, avoiding collisions.  It's a crazy environment.

But to me, that heightens the need for teamwork and understanding; others, I have found, react with snappiness and contempt.  So, I got my fill of mean-hearted chastisement backstage.  

I just feel like there are better ways to say things.  Really.  You can teach people the proper way to do things in a kind tone of voice.  

My sister Ashley had a run-in with a mean person this week, too.  And it made me sad to hear about.  I suppose I don't know the background on these mean folks; perhaps they are going through a hard time in life.  I suppose I haven't seen them in another setting, one where they are quite kind.  All I have are these short examples from which to form my opinions.  

But couldn't they have spoken kinder?  Hmm?  Couldn't they have paused before they snapped at others?  "Where you plant a rose, my lad, a thistle cannot grow."

Buried

The worst way to die would be drowning, for me, or being somehow buried alive in an avalanche or something.  Any situation where I would feel that lack of oxygen and I'd struggle, suffocate, and lose consciousness.  Air is very important to me.  Am I the only one who has thought about this?

Our desk has become Ben's home office and it remains in a constant state of paperwork overload.  It's really a disaster.  There are post it notes and two checkbooks, a sippy cup, used tissues, drawings from the kids, photos to be put in albums, garbage, to do lists of all sizes.... It's a mixture of home life and work life, but it's a big big pile of mess.  Whenever I sit down to use the computer, I feel the oxygen being sucked out of the room.  I panic, check my emails, blogs, and run away as fast as I can.  

It's just such a formidable project and I don't want to tackle it alone.  But when do Ben and I have time to work on it together?  When we are together, THAT is certainly not the first thing we have on our list.  *Sigh*

I have stop this post; it's giving me a headache.  I'm really tempted to just clear the whole thing off into the garbage.  But probably that's not a very good idea.  Bummer.

Busytown

Ben has been working like a crazy person lately.  Working all day, then after the kids are in bed, working at night.  He's exhausted.  But he's happy.  I think that he's happier working for himself, making his own decisions, doing what he loves.  He worries about money, but he's more content than I've seen him in a long time.

Check out Ben's work at www.bentdesignstudio.com

The Secret Garden (the play that I am in) is going well.  We finished blocking last night, so from now on, we're just running the show over and over and over.  I love being at the Children's Theater and spending time with all those hilarious people.  I laugh every day!  And it's awesome to receive such support from my friends and family; so many people want to come see the show--I feel so loved.

If you want tickets: www.tctheatre.org

We have had a dog for almost 4 days now.  We adopted Riley on Friday, picking him up in Logan.  He is a 3-yr-old Alaskan Malamute/German Shepherd mix.  Every day has been a learning experience, for sure.  Just learning to understand what he needs is going to take some time.  (Does he need to go outside?  Or does he just need some attention?)  I think I expected that life would be the same, just with a dog; but life is different, and we need to make some adjustments.  For example, Ben learned yesterday that doing sit-ups on the floor with the dog in the room is basically impossible.  Riley is such a sweetie, though, and we're glad to have him in our family.  

Keller has decided to start talking again.  He took a long break while he was learning to walk, but now that he's gotten that skill down, he's refocused on communication.  He can say ball, book, dog, no no, tickle tickle, mama, dada, baba (bottle), and something that sounds a little bit like Taesya.  Anytime he learns a new grown-up thing, he looks so proud of himself.  My favorite is Kisses!  He kisses me now!

Taesya's still doing great in school.  Her teacher wants her to get tested for some kind of more advanced schooling, but I have mixed feeling about that.  I really want my kids to be kids, to be able to have fun, avoid all the pressure for a while.  Why are we all in such a hurry to grow up?  Being grown up is tough.  So, for now, Tae's going to stay where she's at.

Canon and I went to Smith's together yesterday, just the two of us.  It was a quick trip, but we had a good time.  Canon is such a sweet kid.  He loves me and we love being together.  He picked some Star Wars fruit snacks for himself.  Random sticks are becoming swords lately, and half-eaten toast becomes a gun.  Should I be worried?  

Hope this didn't seem like a Christmas letter; there's a lot going on 'round here.

Take a Deep Breath and Smile

Courtesy of Taesya Peck, age 4.

Just some yadda

Keller is sorting socks while Canon watches Cinderella in the family room.  I am still in my pajamas and tackling my "list" one thing at a time.  My abs are killing me from yesterday.  Just some basic sit-up type stuff, but apparently I really needed it.  Tae's at school and Benny's working from the library currently.

I bought a new air freshener and it's kind of suffocating me.  I want my house to smell nice, but a muted level of nice.  Whew, I really hope this thing tones down soon.

I think I offended the sun yesterday.  I don't exactly understand it, but I sent Taesya to school with shorts, and I even wore sandals myself.  By afternoon the sky and turned grey and today there isn't a ray of sunlight to be seen.  There are raindrops on the window and I am seriously remorseful for jumping the summer gun.  Please come back, sun, and I promise I'll keep my family wearing pants and socks until May.  Please?

Hey, look, Keller's still in Jammies, too.  G-L-OO-MY Day.  Here's hoping there's sunshine in your corner of the planet.